Thankful reflections

 I get so caught up in everything time slips by...looking fwd to Highlander coming home soon and another busy weekend yard sale mania yeah!
I cant believe thanksgiving is almost here, as i reflect with thankfulness. this time last year my husband was home on his 2 week R&R , from Iraq, i was having such a hard time and i was glad to find a refreshing when he came home. I didn't marry him to be apart and yet......well you know story of my life.
I reflect at this time of year how lucky i am and how grateful i am to have such a loving spouse and 4 beautiful kids that drive me all sorts of crazy but in the best way... my 5 year old The Pillow made the A+ honor roll and both older kids made A B honor roll , it is far from easy to produce these kinds of results and truthfully i thank my lucky stars that MOST of the time i am vigilant about education reading and character so in moments when i slack off we are still afloat.....hard work really does pay off .
You ever wonder if sometimes God doesn't give us something because we want it, we ask for it, but yet we do nothing in preparation to recv it. I think its almost like an exchange , he wants something in return, sometimes its change , prayer, sometimes its acknowledgement, sometimes its repentance, he wants us to be BETTER  for the blessing. For a blessing is something that is above what we can either do or better than what we expected..
You know i have to admit as i read my bible the other night i came upon the passage in Mark that speaks of a widow who came to the treasury ..see here Mark 12 :42

41 And He sat down opposite the treasury, and beganobserving how the people were putting money into the treasury; and many rich people were putting in large sums.42 A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent. 43 Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; 44 for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on.”

And i started to cry at how generous she was, and i started to ponder on how Jesus speaks about how the rich had given alot but they only gave out of their surplus , they could have gave more but they contributed only what they had to. I have to say that example of giving all she had , when she really had none  is so powerful because she understood it would be replenished unto her tenfold. I was very thankful for that example in such a time as this harvest season, and as i reflected on my husbands leave this time last year , i was emotionally bankrupt and i had maybe about 2 cents worth of hope left in me. But when he got here the Lord instructed me to put it all in...and i did. He wanted me to give ...even though 'I' thought i had given enough...and it was the the turning of the tide, by obedience, by love, by trust it began a healing process that allowed me to make it through the last few months until he came home. And i know in my heart because i did that, because i was willing to give my all , God blessed me with putting my husband on that first flight home. The last time he was gone he was on the last flight, and i mean THE last flight , but this time i think the Lord new things were not well. Too much time apart. It takes its toll. And now....the quest ahead of us looms and as of late uncertain things have revealed themselves. It hinges on a pinpoint, and could fall left or right. I wish we knew more and as kooky as it may seem, i prayed that God would have the war in Iraq REALLY end and that there would be no more deployments to that land. And in my heart i believed HE could make it so, and i shared it not with anyone because i already knew they were scheduled to deploy this year...and i kept praying it. And maybe he heard me. And even if they still go ..i have a odd feeling it wont last , wont be for a year, i hesitate to say this but a unusual calm has come over me about it. Even my husband noticed it and asked why i seemed so at peace, was it because i was so used to it? No , its because i have to believe there IS  a plan and whatever it is , its a good one. I HAVE to believe that. I am learning there IS a connection to what you pray in your heart vs what you just pray with your mouth.
So ...
S.O.T.D.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
 Romans 8:28
I love that..."and we know" . Listen to that certainty. There is power in that! , It does not waver it doesn't say we think or hopefully, it says "and we know" ,  and i KNOW my husband was called to be a soldier and is fulfilling his purpose.
So God IS working in all of this no matter where the road leads....

Le Depart (The Departure)

Things run their course. Its the part of life that continues to ground me.
There is a tendency to want to hang on....you know because it is against human nature to let go, but in a way its also all i know of this life.
The departure i call it for lack of a better term or way to express it.
Sometimes we have to say goodbye , sometimes we have to leave , because it IS the way it was written for us .
The crazy thing that always gets me is the memory of something that at one point brought such joy is now the center of that which causes the dull ache of letting go...
And as far as i have seen all of life is this way , the ebb and flow of things that continue to move into and out of our life, and i really don't recall when it was that i became so used to it (that's a lie but a story for some other day)
But if only more people understand how to live in full hue, to not take things that they have for granite, to not let moments pass them by...
maybe i put so much into the moments i have , that its easier to let go because i am fulfilled in the knowledge that i did all i could when i could.
And maybe all we can do is hope to end up with the right feelings of sadness or regret about the things we leave behind....
I like to think that everything we have ever lived ,ever held ,ever loved, is forever inside of us making us a better version of who were yesterday, because we are richer for the experience , grateful for the chance and wiser for the knowledge we gained ...
Its the only way i can depart and still be whole, not be parted out to all that would take a piece of me if i let it.
Even in scripture we see departure
“Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you” (John 16:7).
I find such a moving statement in that scripture departure is a must but we are not without the promise that we will recd a comforter in this .
and i continue with the s.o.t.d which reminds me to continue to think upon the good things the worthy things the things that we have learned....and in all things even in departure to give praise to God who planned all the days of our life, both happy and sad beginning and the end....For God IS good and his love endures forever and it is THAT thought that continues to uphold me and bring me peace even in times of melancholy.
Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which you have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 4:4-9

That 4 leaf clover

I just haven't been feeling up to par this week.
But it has been a good week, my love has been home with me which i love because he just makes my life easier in so so many ways, and yesterday i went downtown shopping with a group of ladies. That was a nice break for me. Today was spent cleaning sorting and organizing. My wonderful husband cleaned out my crazy van. I got to practice reading with the pillow who is starting to really "get:" it.....  when a small child learns to read and hits that moment where everything makes sense its like finding a 4 leaf clover! How lucky it is to be able to watch it unfold and blossom.
Had to deal with my son Herb who thought it would be a keen idea while spending the night at his buddy's house to break a glass bottle outside and not pick it up, for no good reason either. Needless to say my husband drove him over and he picked it up, did lots of lovely chores missed out on a movie and is grounded. He said he always sees people break them in movies and just wanted to try it. I am like what?? Weirdo. Teen boy for ya :)
At least he hasn't tried to light anything on fire , sneak out , or do anything else too crazy ...yet :)
My husband has to go to the field again all week, boo to that.
Not too much else going on just haven't really had much to expound upon past week. But i am looking fwd to church in the morning , i have a few people i really hope to pray and uplift and i always feel just slightly more connected when i am in the Almighty's house.
I am getting a migraine so i really must go.
s.o.t.d
.Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
(Proverbs 22:6 ESV)

Dont be torn apart

Because people love to tear others apart... A good read and true.


Happy people want other people to be happy. Unhappy people cannot stand happy people, so they do what they can to make them unhappy.  Most do this unconsciously but there are some who intentionally want to hurt another. Basically, we inflict on people what we feel about ourselves and life. It is that simple. 

So when someone tries to bring me down, I try to see why are they doing that to me. Please know that there is such a thing as constructive criticism and usually it is obvious when criticism is constructive because of what is being said and how it is being said. However, when someone is just being cruel for cruelty’s sake, it is wise to try not to let it affect you. See it for what it is -  the person is so unhappy, they want you to join in their misery. 

There may be a desire to argue or try to correct the other person who is being unkind but that rarely accomplishes anything. It only leads to more drama which is exactly what the ego of the other person craves. The ego thrives on drama. The more drama the better…according to the ego. So the best thing you can do in such a situation is to not take it personally. You can overcome the insults by simply not being insulted. Silence is a powerful form of communication and sometimes when someone is cruel, silence enables their insult to bounce back to them more quickly. You know how a mischievous little child tries to get some one’s attention by doing all kinds of funny things…if you don’t give it any attention, it will soon find someone else to bother. 

I do realize that all of this is easier said than done. I still sometimes get upset when someone else tries to bring me down. No one is perfect. However, my recovery time (meaning the time it takes for me to get over the insult) is much faster than it used to be. 

Just try to always remember that what we see in others, is a reflection of what we feel about ourselves. Anytime you judge another, you are judging yourself. So the next time someone tries to bring you down, realize that what they are saying has nothing to do with you. 



s.o.t.d.
Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles,

Proverbs 24:17

my scalp is on fire....no really

First off since my last post i have had VERY and i mean VERY little sleep :( i am cranky , and my husband is on the field again, one kid is semi not feeling well and my scalp is on fire and feels sooooo itchy. I have a condition called alopecia. It causes my scalp to tingle and burn and then it gets itchy and then it begins...i will get a big circle on my scalp where my hair just falls out. It sucks so bad and takes a REALLY long time to grow back, in which i mostly wear bandanna's to cover it up :(. The last one i had was pretty big about the size of a 50 cent piece directly at the part on my scalp which seems to be wear they like to start. The thing scaring me is this time i feel ALOT of tingling all up and down my part. And i am so so so tired that i feel like im about to fall out so i apologise for the slow entry and short status here but i have to go lay down . Somebody pray for me that this doesn't turn into a episode. Sometimes when i am stressed it flares up but doesnt go full blown so i need to try and rest.
s.o.t.d.
Psalms 30:2 
 O LORD my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me.

THE INSOMNIA TRAIN .......ALL ABOARD!

William Wallace: Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live...at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade all of that from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance......... (Braveheart)

After a ridiculously long day of being an unpaid taxi cab driver i finally fell asleep. Only to be woken up by my husband grumbling because of his nose (he has a deviated septum he needs fixed) dogs wanting to go potty and a small child who was being the worst kind of bed hog, he wants ..me out, his dad to be right next to him and he wants to utilize only a fraction of bed space , its a tough call with our boo, he usually sleeps in his toddler bed for most of the night which is actually in our room, but he somehow always ends up in ours. I don't usually care , and because he is autistic and used to wake up in the middle of the night and "wander" i being the paranoid freak parent that i am couldn't sleep when he wasn't in our room. I would wake up countless times scared about where was he? I used to find him on my couch , on the floor, once i was almost ready to collapse with fear cause at midnight i woke went to check on him and he was no place to be found. Till my older kids heard me freaking out and said wait he is upstairs in bed with Season! So people suggested i put up a baby gate, yeah that only works on NON spartan children who cannot push it down in a single blow. He has incredible strength and TRULY is his fathers son when it comes to being just naturally strong. A blessing I'm sure when he is a grown man but a nightmare when he is 3 and can make grown adults break a sweat when he decides to put on one of his awesome displays of power. Needless to say he is in our room in his own little bed and it works for us for now......
Until nights like tonight , where i look over half dazed unable to sleep from all the afore mentioned things and i start eying that toddler bed :) and for a second i contemplate climbing in pulling up the Disney Cars comforter , let my feet stick out and start sawing logs. HEY i am short so its not too far fetched , i mean i MIGHT fit if i scrunched up really good :). But then i come too and decide to lay out on the couch, which you know initially works but then i hear people breathing, and the hamster going in his damn wheel to no where and the dryer turning and then my mind is up. Its dangerous business waking up my mind, cause it never EVER shuts up once switched to the on position. Its never fully off, it goes into pause mode like my coffee pot every night, waiting for someone to press play come the break o DAWN :).
So here i am wide awake at 1 am which would normally be 2 but since we fell back you know its a fake 1 am...drinking herbal orange tea and writing this ridiculous blog about random sleep shenanigans and hijacking toddler beds.
My life is not a joke, people seriously have NO clue what it entails and what it is i DO all day everyday. It never , ever , stops. My husband has expressed to me that he worries about me cause i never rest, and apparently i can add never sleep to that list as well :). He wants me to SIT DOWN. He claims i make him feel eternally guilty because i wont ever watch TV, i don't take naps and i cant just sit still. hmm what the heck is my problem anyways ?
I guess ill sleep when I'm dead , and we ARE a long time dead , so gotta make the most of NOW.
I just don't want to get to the end, whenever that may be , and feel like i wasted what days i had. I know all days are not perfect but every day is worth it. Because there is something good in every day, God wouldn't have it any other way.
I am an easily amused person. You have NO idea how true that statement is. Anything sparkly, checking the mail, scratch off lottery tickets (where for about 1 second i COULD BE an almost millionaire hehe), the mountains with the sun peeking out behind them, the way it feels that first  seconds i roll down my window and the fresh air hits me, the small skip of a beat that happens every time my husband comes home and smiles at me, the feel of my dogs  soft squishy ears as i pet him, the smile i get every time i walk into my chaotic bedroom and see a stack of no less than 7 books i am either reading all at once or aspire to read :)
Yes
Easily amused.
It has its advantages.
Someday when i am old and i do slow down , i will have hopefully lived such a full life , i will be able to sustain my mind with many amusing and lovely memories of a life well lived.
I have no more energy than the average insane military mom of 4 kids 2 dogs and 1 hamster. I am just better than most of slave driving and kicking my own butt!
I give all my praise to the Lord for he has bestowed upon me a will that i know in my heart makes me unique, a heart that can infinitely love because i am loved, and a mind that is STRAC and a promise that tells me its all for a reason.
None of this probably makes any sense and i will most likely look at it in the morning with a critical but AMUSED eye :)
Goodnight for the second time tonight.
Oh and the songbird song is one that always reminds me of Highlander.
S.O.T.D.
 saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

songbird - christine mcvie including lyrics

Don't drown just grab on

A nice blend of prediction and surprise seem to be at the heart of the best art.

Make no mistake being married to the Army IS an art...and i was thrown for a loop tonight with some news? Rumor? Hmm. Not sure what to make of it yet for the final outcome is still a long time coming.
Have been literally so busy i am exhausted. Took my daughter to a Turkish cooking class tonight that was pretty cool, came home bathed everybody kissed em goodnight and moved on to greener pastures with my lovebird :) and now there is still a wee bit of life left in me to squeeze out this pathetic blog entry.lol.
My brain is kinda on overload the last couple of days. Oh yes i forgot to mention...wait for it...Highlander and i had a sort of fight the other night. But I'm a tough ol bird :) and so it annoys the hell out of my husband when we do fight cause well, umm, im right you know:). The real problem is nobody ever tells him no, nobody ever says your wrong and nobody would want to piss him off on purpose. Therefor it just busts all the gears in his brain when he and I get into it cause i am not afraid to tell him where to go. After some huffing and puffing and blowing the house down though he usually recovers his senses rather quickly and makes up right :)
I love my husband. I really really do. He got stuck at some lame leaders course thing where he had to drive a pov and it was across town and he even had to buy a overpriced 10.00 sandwich while everybody else got the day off. Oh the joys of being chosen.
I don't care really i mean what can i do, in younger years i would get so upset but now i just know to make the most of the time we have together and never mind the rest cause to this day, i haven't figured out a way to fight the army, well at least fight and win :)
I don't know its an insane roller coaster i am strapped to and it never ever lets me off...that's kinda the problem with life in general. Once you get going the going goes with or without your permission.
We just have to pray for clarity and peace and know that all these days , good bad stressful and everything in between ARE the days written for us. And with any luck maybe we live to see another day..
God is good but if you want to have him reveal to you all the cards in your deck, i think you have to play by his rules. They really are not suggestions.
Been snagging Xmas gifts left and right. Dreaming of my nephew who will be born sometime this month and just sending out praise in every direction i can, for so many many blessings he bestows to my life and the lives of those around me.
Our God saves!
So if your drowning OR in stormy seas here is your life ring grab it and hold onto it and never let this thought go may it uphold you in all the dark places this world makes us walk.

GOODNIGHT.
S.O.T.D.Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 
2 Corinthians 5:17-21 .

Hanging with my lovebird,xmas loot, and joyful noises

So yesterday started great took all the kids to school, Highlander had the day off , so i came home and said i was going to change and head over to Toys R Us while it was early and since he could keep The Rock. I had MAJOR coupons deals and free items to make good on while i was there..they hate me at Toys R Us they really do hehe...they just look at me like are you kidding me? I had preordered TS3 plus i had 8 dollar off coupons , they were giving out $10.00 gift cards for every $40.00 worth of Disney movies purchased so i got TS3 and the new Perry Xmas dvd from Phineas and ferb, plus with every $30.00 worth of TS3 merchandise you got a wall clock and a popcorn tin which i did twice over PLUS i needed a window shade for the car to block out the sun from The Rocks face and i had a 20 % off any baby item coupon. Needless to say the cashier (who was in training btw) just stared at me along with her manager and I'm pretty sure they wanted to knock me out. I was just glad i got a great manager who knew what she was doing, normally i have to do a verbal smack down on them and lay it out line by line because they cant believe how much my total comes out to for what i got :)
 So from there i had a few more errands and then i hit a Goodwill for about 20 minutes before needing to take The Rock to school, i grabbed Herb 2 shirts, myself a sweater and a dress as well as a puzzle and a few other small items...
I came home and Highlander and I dropped off the Rock at school and headed out to lunch at the px food court, so amazing how many cool restaurants like buffalo wild wings smashburger arbys Einstein bagel co and all the other amazing new stores that are opening , its like a mallplex in the civilan world but on post. Its the first of its kind army wide and it ROCKS. This weekend the mega movie cineplex opens and we walked around and could believe what an amazing blessing it is to have this on post! Highlander already has plans for dinner and a date once the movie hubbub dies down a bit :)
Then we hit the px and walked around looking at furniture and TVs etc and we held arms and talked ..just so relaxing to not hear MOM or DAD every 2 seconds even if its just for a lil while.
I love spending time with my love he spoils me rotten and i heart him for that :)
So then we came home and finished up a few things and before you know it its time for the afternoon onslaught of pickups etc...then Herb went to the skate park and I worked on finishing up a Xmas centerpiece i have been working on which my husband actually noticed lol and said it looked really cool. It better cause it friggen took me forever to finish!
Finally after a quick dinner he and Herb went out for some male bonding to the movies and the rest of the kids settled in to watch TS3 and i worked on posting some deals to my deal sites and answering emails and worked on Rock Candy Mama...
Finally after they came home and we did a quick sweep of the house and laundry switch overs etc it was time for bed and prayers and we talked about how time flies when your having fun....then fade to black it was only to be woke at 4 am by a kid a dog and a chill in the air and in that order. So i have been up since then on my daily rampage and getting ready to go run 4 errands and then the cycle i already described will go on repeat.
I am so thankful and grateful to the Almighty for his great favour and blessing he constantly pours out onto my life. HOW can i keep from singing? :)
Bluebird of happiness
signing off
(for now)
s.o.t.d.
Make a joyful noise unto the LORD Psalm 100:1

Its all about love....again :)

I want you to get swept away out there. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dirvish...Yeah be deliriously happy or at least leave yourself open to be. I know it's a cornball thing, but love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say, fall head over heels, find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. The truth is, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

He is back! I am so thankful that my love is finally home, i missed him so much :). He missed out on trick or treating cause his flight came in so late and by the time he called we were almost done. But that's ok had a wonderful night after we got home..all the kids went out pretty quick they were exhausted from walking block after block in pursuit of candy! The rest was well........bliss......

 Had SUCH a busy last few days the onslaught of Halloween and Highlander coming home, then today we went and did some Sam's club stock up, stopped by toys r us to do The Rocks train table for Xmas and then came the daily afternoon onslaught of pickups etc. Made a nice shrimp scampi dinner with an amazing chocolate drizzle cake for Daddy's belated bday :)cake...

 Excited that its finally November, and all the joys that this month and the next bring me. I am truly happy at holiday time. I was reminded by Herb that i PROMISED last year that this year i would take him black Friday shopping so it looks like the fun bus will roll out day after thanksgiving I'm thinking of offering up rides to anybody who wants to come with, i could make some hot chocolate, make breakfast burritos and have a day of it. My son really wants to do it so i guess its on. Last year being the first year i haven't gone.

 I do want to say that i am so thankful for my life. I truly feel blessed beyond measure. Even on the craziest of days i know i am lucky. I get up most days with a sparkle in my eye and a hope in my heart to see where the day leads me. I feel so spoiled to be able to get up and drink coffee and browse my deals drop off my beautiful kids at school and do ANYTHING I WANT with the rest of my time, that is (if i wanted to hehe) good thing i am responsible :)i do most days work first and fun later but i find the smallest things fun so maybe my idea of fun would not match most peoples. I mean i still think checking the mail is fun..its like Xmas every day because of all my free samples i get :) and my cool free magazines..

I think people spend an awful lot of time stuck. I mean really stuck. In a bad habit , a bad rut , hell sometimes even a bad life. And why? There just simply isn't enough days to be unhappy. When one is happy i think it radiates into every crevice of ones life. I mean we all have bad days and  bad moments but if you find yourself waking up without a song in your heart..... your in the wrong band. I mean that cause i have been there and got the shirt.

Do something that makes you feel alive. I know for me its loving others. I am alive when i love. Love love and more love. Thank you Jesus for your love endures forever...and braced by the ultimate love of all how can i do anything but attract more love. I want my life my testament to radiate the happiness that i have found, to be a steward of the good word through love. Its a purposeful life my friends. YOU are not here by chance by accident but by purpose. You are meant for someone , something and somewhere in this world.

I think God likes to show us when we think we know it all, that there is so much more out there, we are fools, he has told us there are great and wondrous things and yet we stop ourselves short. We like to lean on our own understandings and it gets in the way of the wonder. Let it go and see if the blessing that is poured out to you doesn't carry you faster and farther than you ever thought possible. All things are possible if we would but believe..

I am off now , to go drift off next to the love of my life. My heart still skips a beat.

s.o.t.d.

Call to me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you know not!

  

Be Thankful

Be Stable - Joyce Meyer part 1 of 3

Lemonade in shark infested waters....

Its Friday and i am seriously glad! Today was so busy with all the kids needing to wear their costumes to school, The Pillow needed a treat for the whole class, The Rock fought tooth and nail because well he hates costumes....but he did finally wear at least the costume part, he ditched the hat and the eye patch and its ok at least he actually wore it. He saw no point though. :)

Have another crazy weekend to do with Halloween and my love coming home a party to attend church and a slew of other things that just HAVE to get done! It never ends i tell ya!

So i used to quote Dr Laura and say when its true love your "love" would swim through shark infested waters to bring you a glass of lemonade. I have been addicted to lemonade for the past few months no clue why....but i digress yes back to true love...so the point being that there should be almost nothing that you WOULDNT do if your true love needed it.
I am so annoyed with the army right now because they have ROYALLY scewed up on something yet again and it is going to take Highlander getting all up into somebody's face to figure out how to fix it. I shudder where i sit for whoever THAT person is cause i am not amused and he is PISSED. The funny thing about him is that people are always scared of him but really he is a very nice man, he rarely ever raises his voice or gets mad at others unlike me (hehe) but its cause he is so quiet that he brings the fear...so when he does flip his scrip people pretty much almost pee themselves cause umm yeah when he does yell it blows right through your soul. Its crazy. Anyhow my totally digressed point at this point is that i was pretty upset and he wasted no time in TCB. He really would do anything for me in the name of love. I KNOW this cause this last deployment when we were both pushed to the brink i had to hard line some things to him , you know tough love and he could of responded 2 ways , one could of been nothing and the other was everything. you guessed it he gave it 1000 percent effort. It makes all the difference. The response. I am a pretty extreme personality...i know this so does he, and honestly i have no friggen clue how the man lives with me or my nutty ways lol. But what i think we have that is vital is we know what the other needs and we understand how to apply that in a paste :). But none of it works without true love. Cause when its half love its half effort. When its kinda love its kinda response.
Marriage is not easy. Truthfully i hate how much we are apart, i feel like i spend the majority of my life being away from him. But the time we are together is THAT good . Without it being 1000 % amazing while we are together it could not sustain me while he is gone.
Its been said to love while you can cause you never know how long you've got. In this way of life that saying holds so much truth it almost hurts. None of us knows where our lives lead, and none of us loves as much as we should.
I have been taking some serious time to pray about my shortcomings (of which i have many) and asking the Lord to strengthen me in those areas of my life, while i am at "rest" and not at "stress" i need to patch holes, build up strength, workout hard both mentally and physically, cause i know what hunts me. .....
Its a black hole of despair that can swallow you up if you let it, i was never sucked in all the way but man did i come close. And now as i mull it over in my mind that i am heading into what will become our third deployment sometime this summer i feel like George Foreman the boxer..who at the age of 45, he knocked out Michael Moorer, age 26, to reclaim the title he held 20 years earlier. I am getting old but i have to stay as fit as i can because make no mistake its a fight just to keep sane and calm about it all. My poor kid will have had her dad gone half her life by the time she turns 6. It really sucks.
I asked him if he could do it over would he...join the army and the whole nine yards....all he said is "well its what i do."
I said "you know your really good at what you do" and he said "so are you"
And so there it is in a nutshell. We are precisely where we are supposed to be. And sometimes that is together ...and sometimes its apart. But are not the all the days of our lives already written? So who am i to doubt..all i need to do is just know that like George nothing is impossible. Not even surviving another grueling round of guess what is waiting in sandbox number 3!
I will survive. 
Thanks be to God who gives us our victory through our Lord Jesus Christ
s.o.t.d.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
 Psalm 139:16

The Xmas cave beckons.....Oh and im kinda tired tonight

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.  ~Roy L. Smith

You ever feel like life is piling up on you :) hehe

Some days i am superwoman and other days like today i am sitting here fighting the sleep powers that be and i don't really know why ,.other than the fact i am stubborn. hmph!

Talked to my love again briefly tonight was good to hear his voice although he like me sounded oh so tired tonight. 

I had a weird crazy thing happen today , somebody put out advance copies of toy story 3 at a certain store and as fate would have it there i was...

The Xmas shopping quest intensifies starting Monday ! I am going to see if i can top last years amazing haul , the one where i bought for my family, extended family and friends and some extra kids plus all my charitable donations for $523 bucks. Now if you only really understood what all that means its about 32 people plus the charitable stuff on the side. It was a groundbreaking year last year. I also GASP for the first time EVER did not venture out on black Friday. My love was home on R&R from Iraq and i had almost ALL of my shopping done already anyways so it was not really worth it. Last year i bought a TON of stuff at almost free or rock bottom prices! I had so much stuff stashed that as i started to climb into the Xmas cave (aka) my bedroom walk in closet i started to feel flush with how much "stuff" i had forgot i bought and had stashed for so long some of it came out needing to have the package dusted! This year with my sanity somewhat (hahah) more in tact i will keep better track of my list. I have so much fun shopping for Xmas its good sport for me. This year i hope to at least equal or top what i did last year in the way of savings for/haul but we shall see....

And in all of it one thing i do like to try and remember is of course the "reason' for the season. Plus i have my 545 project well under foot and i am growing so excited to actually see it come to fruition! 

  Ok i am being called to read goodnight moon and that's a date i dare not miss for its a short hop skip and jump till ill soon be the old lady whispering hush!

s.o.t.d.

Because he hath set his love upon me ... because he hath known my name.... With long life will I satisfy him...

Eye candy fate and shotguns

Benjamin Button: Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it. A woman in Paris was on her way to go shopping, but she had forgotten her coat - went back to get it. When she had gotten her coat, the phone had rung, so she'd stopped to answer it; talked for a couple of minutes. While the woman was on the phone, Daisy was rehearsing for a performance at the Paris Opera House. And while she was rehearsing, the woman, off the phone now, had gone outside to get a taxi. Now a taxi driver had dropped off a fare earlier and had stopped to get a cup of coffee. And all the while, Daisy was rehearsing. And this cab driver, who dropped off the earlier fare; who'd stopped to get the cup of coffee, had picked up the lady who was going to shopping, and had missed getting an earlier cab. The taxi had to stop for a man crossing the street, who had left for work five minutes later than he normally did, because he forgot to set off his alarm. While that man, late for work, was crossing the street, Daisy had finished rehearsing, and was taking a shower. And while Daisy was showering, the taxi was waiting outside a boutique for the woman to pick up a package, which hadn't been wrapped yet, because the girl who was supposed to wrap it had broken up with her boyfriend the night before, and forgot. 
 When the package was wrapped, the woman, who was back in the cab, was blocked by a delivery truck, all the while Daisy was getting dressed. The delivery truck pulled away and the taxi was able to move, while Daisy, the last to be dressed, waited for one of her friends, who had broken a shoelace. While the taxi was stopped, waiting for a traffic light, Daisy and her friend came out the back of the theater. And if only one thing had happened differently: if that shoelace hadn't broken; or that delivery truck had moved moments earlier; or that package had been wrapped and ready, because the girl hadn't broken up with her boyfriend; or that man had set his alarm and got up five minutes earlier; or that taxi driver hadn't stopped for a cup of coffee; or that woman had remembered her coat, and got into an earlier cab, Daisy and her friend would've crossed the street, and the taxi would've driven by. But life being what it is - a series of intersecting lives and incidents, out of anyone's control - that taxi did not go by, and that driver was momentarily distracted, and that taxi hit Daisy, and her leg was crushed. 


As if i don't have enough things to do i went and started another blog. But this one is just for fun and doesn't require much work lol more of a creative outlet than anything else. If there is one thing i love and appreciate its eye candy :)
I loooove to look at creative original or innovative items for adults and kids and sometimes you find something so awesome well you just have to share :)!
Had a weird message today on face book from someone i know telling me all my deall postings are annoying. That they overtake everybody newsfeeds etc. I had to explain to this person that they don't have to keep me on their feed they can remove me to help unclutter their feed and just manually go to my page and check it when they want to. It was like "oh" really??? I was like yes really. This person had not a clue. It really does help to sit and figure out your face book controls for your page because lets face it, sometimes you post things and you don't want kids or certain individuals or parents to see what you are posting, and also in cases like this you may not want some crazy cheap bastard cluttering up your daily news feed with tales of the tightwaddery lol.
Anyhow in bigger and better news i heard from my love tonight! Oh how i miss him and cannot WAIT for him to be back home with us. He may be missing the trick or treating we don't exactly know yet but what can you do right?  He mentioned he is on one of the last flights and that maybe he could switch with someone on an earlier one and i said well you could or maybe God put you on the flight your on for a reason, do you really want to tamper with that. His response? "Roger that mama " ....I think God you know he gets tired of us trying to superimpose our will over his. I am so guilty of that, and lately i stop and say to myself you know maybe it falls down this way for a reason. I mean can you imagine that if the slightest thing were to change how we could ultimately be altering our fate. I would much rather surrender and let the man upstairs guide my path to whatever end that may be, cause at least then ill know it was supposed to happen that way.
Alot of deep internal churning's going on over here, i almost had a panic attack of the most severe kind , my umm "aunt" was a little to late for my liking this month! And that CANNOT happen for it would be dire straights as i have been told no more babies! And BELIEVE you me i am all about following that to a T ! I love children i really do but i CANNOT do another lil one. My life is off the chain most days as it is. Highlander and I talked about adoption someday or foster parenting but i think thats just a bridge we will have to cross when and if we ever get there, as for now we are good with our own little fire team.
I have been eying a new shotgun btw and i think that is going on my Xmas list, i want something lighter than the one i have now.
This is just from my own personal standpoint, but being a female who ends up being the sole protector of my house while my husband is away on year long deployments for the army, i choose a shotgun for home defense (my dog is apparently retired now lol) . In a dark, hurried situation in which i may have to actually use a weapon , shotguns are easy to load and your aim does not have to even be that good to do some serious damage. Also universally almost everyone will fear a shotgun pointed at them, they are imo less of a chance of getting froggy on you than a smaller handgun. Also i have 4 kids and with my husband being in the military we have taught the oldest 2 how to use our weapons and expressed safety and knowledge to them in order for us to feel comfortable owning them. Now i do have very mature and mostly  obedient kids, one must use judgement when it comes to kids and any kind of weapon but i do think that having them be trained and aware allows me to feel better about having them in my home. so that is just my take on it and why i like the shotgun.. Knowledge is power and when you wield fear instead of knowledge about something you get piss poor results.
Its kind of like the birds and the bees, my kids know more than they ever wanted too and anybody else will ever tell them. If you as the parent cant lay it to them straight ...believe me nobody else will. From an early age we always referred to body parts by their anatomically correct terms and when asked where babies come from, anywhere over the age of 5 its game on . I don't allow things to be taboo or mysterious because i want them to understand this is real and this is not a joke. A calm straightforward answer that lacks emotional attachment and sounds more matter of fact seems to work VERY well. Had the neatest conversation with Herb about 1950's 1960's architecture..... spawned all from watching the Brady Bunch movie...lol and yesterday as he came home from school we talked about what he learned that day at school about atoms and how we have never "really" touched anything ...
When two physical surfaces make contact, we say they are 'touching' each other. This contact may make it appear that two different surfaces are actually touching, but in fact, no atoms of any one object can ever touch the atoms of another!
see here for a continuation of explanation
http://www.worsleyschool.net/science/files/touch/touch.html
so he said the next time the girls say "he touched me" i can say no i didn't "really " touch you! LMAO!
He is a teenager but he is a joy. His mind fascinates me. He is sooooo gifted and smart and sooooo fricken lazy! Someday he will get that he is truly blessed and he needs to take all that he has been given and use it to his full potential! Without having to be kicked in the arse to do it! lol.
Ok the hour is late and my eyelids droopy check out the new blog and enjoy its not like this one at all is basically....eye candy :)http://rockcandymama.blogspot.com/
s.o.t.d.
"But these things I plan won't happen right away.  Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass.  Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!      Habakkuk 2:1,3

Tough times don"t last but tough people do!

Sally: Just I overheard you talkin' to Mater.
McQueen: When? Just, just now? What, what did, what did you hear?
Sally: Oh, just something about a helicopter ride.
McQueen: Oh, yeah. Yeah, he got a kick out of that, didn't he?
Sally: Did you mean it?
McQueen: What?
Sally: That you'll get him a ride?
You know Mater trusts you....


I should be in bed cause I'm really really tired and yet here i am , here we are , once again. The thing about being committed to something is that you have to mean it. No i mean like you have to actually show up and be well, committed. People start to lean on you , hell i start to lean on me, and when you say your going to do something you kinda have to ...do it. I told myself that if i decided to blog again i was going to do 2 things , number one temper light with dark and try to err more on the side of light :) and two that i would TRY to blog as much as i could. It is not easy sometimes, because usually the time i am afforded where i can sit and do this is when i am tired and being lazy and don't want to write lol ok type.
When you put something out there i think most times people don't expect you to be good on your word, or they don't think you will follow through with what you say because most of the time we live in a out of site out of mind world...more than ever you know i feel an obligation to my family my friends even strangers to uphold what it is i say i believe and what it is i ..do. I am not perfect and again i just fail all the time, but i really do try to mean it. I try hard to think about the things that i do and the things that i say. I want people to know that i take my life seriously.
The most intense relationship i have ever been in, in my life , is the one i am in right now with Jesus. I mean its not easy, i love the Lord with all my heart but to walk the path he wants me and everybody else to walk is not an easy one. The the thing i keep telling myself though is that its a journey..and i heard something the other day i want to share here. Sometimes when bad things or unexpected things happen to you , you think Lord why me, what lesson are you trying to pull here? And the answer is , sometimes its not even about you. Sometimes God calls us to be a servant in a big way, he calls attention to our lives through hardship, strife , hard times and even tragedy. He does this to some of the strongest and most dedicated servants , that they may be held up to others for an example that tough times don't last but tough people do. So you see sometimes the bad is happening TO you but the LESSON is meant for somebody else to see. What a word , what a picture is there for us when we see someone we know or admire suffering and or endure hardship, and they do it with strength and dignity and praise. Is there not a bar then for us to uphold our own lives to? That we may take an example from the strong and apply it to our hearts so that in our weakest moments we can draw upon that example and say if they made it , then God willing I am going to make it. God knows how to motivate, make no mistake about it,and when you have said I am here your servant is listening, and given yourself to be used for the higher purpose , be prepared to feel some pain. IT CANT be all sunshine and rainbows, or nobody would ever learn anything. For as terrible as it is we learn more in trial than in triumph.
I have come to unknown territory in my life, as my faith grows stronger my resolve to take my hand off things i have no control over grows better. There is something happening right now in my life that by all accounts should be making me feel over the edge, and because i know there is nothing i can do about it i will not worry about it, I'm going to go to bed actually, cause I'm giving it over to him again tonight , he is going to be awake all night anyways ,...right? :). We have to trust and have faith that the words in the bible are not just words but words that mean it.
s.o.t.d.
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? (Luke 12:25-26)

The Weepies - World Spins Madly On

"World Spins Madly On"

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hello my name is.....

Hmmm I have never had an all girl trip...i don't know why cause i have a great husband who would watch all my kids and feed the dogs :) if i wanted to go. Well if he was home he would...i know several of my friends who have taken one and also when i was a kid i can recall my mom going on a all girl weekend trip to somewhere or another. Very exciting stuff , i just don't for the life of me know why its only just now come to my attention that i have never taken one of THOSE trips.
I also decided i should attend a conference, by myself. You know just for good measure. So i can claim i am going to learn something VERY important but really will enjoy getting to check into a hotel, eat out, sit in the hot tub, and watch really overpriced pay per view movies. :)AND wear a name badge! Oh yeah and it will give me a reason to use my really awesome zebra pattern luggage i bought this past summer that i just adore!
Yeah don't ask me what gets me going on these tangents cause i don't really know. ...
Today was a productive day in the home but at the pace of a snail, because i think in my sleep last night i got bit by a spider on my side of my neck. I awoke to barely being able to swallow and or turn my neck and my whole left side of my body feels weird , my left hand was incredibly swollen and i had to take my ring off cause it actually hurt. After several does of benadryl it went down some but i still feel kinda blah...
I did get my girls room cleaned up which by the way i hate having to go up there at least once a week to rummage the place and pull down trash , hang up clothes and straighten the gazillion books they own...but it needs to be done or will go way out of control.
I also spent time clipping and sorting and printing all my coupons for the week which you'll just have to trust me is no small feat, usually i end up sitting awake at wee hours of the night when the house is quiet so i can concentrate. Yeah the zen of couponism lol.
The stuff i do in any given day...like pick up the game mr mouth 8 times to include all 100 colorful flies that get strewn everywhere.
I'm telling you play-do, light bright pegs, decks of cards, game board pieces, 900 crayons...all in a days work.
not to mention the fact i never stop moving i never sit down and even when afforded the chance i rarely take it up because I'm always on to the next gig. yes i said gig, I'm a domestic rock star and this house is my stage. wow and on that note as i sit here and drink coffee from the largest travel mug EVER....I need to go wake up the rock who fell asleep late and i will be slapping myself for it when I am propping my eyelids open at 1 am while he is up running around with glee.
yippee!
s.o.t.d.
Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. James 1: 3

A light in the attic

There’s a light on in the attic
Though the house is dark and shuttered,
I can see a flickerin’ flutter,
And I know what it’s about.
There’s a light on in the attic.
I can see it from the outside,
And I know you’re on the inside . . . lookin’ out.

Today was a fufilling day , not overly busy...i cooked with my girls and we went to a lego event at toys r us where the kids got to build a lego car. They really had a great time and best of all it was free! Cant beat that :)
Then i dropped my oldest son and his friend at the skatepark came home and then baked cookies with the Pillow, spent some time playing with them and now its time for bed. Its amazing how the days just fly when you are enjoying yourself. Spending good time with my children always refreshes me and makes me feel unstressed because i lay in bed at night and reflect upon all we did and feel glad that i took the time...for someday soon i know they will be gone before i know it. It is like a light in my attic, things can be dark but the highest and most lit place is always where my kids are and the happiness i find in them, i keep them at the top of my mind where i try to not let the rest of the "stuff" go. After all its just "stuff" :)
I hope this coming week goes by quick i cant wait for my love to come home!!! :) I miss him so much and i am excited if he does get to go trick or treating with the kids :)
Ok well its off to relax and maybe make a few ornaments if i can keep me eyes open long enough.
Goodnight
s.o.t.d.
“I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in Me, should not abide in darkness.” John 12:46