Well another day bites the dust. EXHAUSTED doesn't even begin to cover it. The filly Rumours has taken up a BIG chunk of my time getting her all squared away, and also getting ready for the FAST approaching launch of my business. ...plus its the Pillows bday party Friday night and as usual my hubby has been in the field m-f and wont be home till about an hour before her party starts.
I am so tired of him being gone.
I am really tired of the honey do list getting longer and the time he will be here getting shorter already...
10,000 sighs and not a drop of sympathy to spare.
Most people take having their spouse home for granite, maybe even get annoyed with them being around, lol not me i wait and wait and wait ...
It was brought to my attention i need to blog more, i know i know
You just have NO idea what my days are consisting of . when i say i never stop i mean it. I really do.
But
in the end
i would rather have a life of meaning
than not
Some people ask me but why? I mean why push so hard why why why
Truth
I guess because i need to get it all in somehow
None of us know when our time here could be up
We always think there is another day...and maybe there is and maybe there isn't..
I will be alone again on love day. Dave's day. The day David died. And maybe someday it will be both again.
But for now its not, and maybe you know its the impact of it, the finality that lives on past all that the lesson that says love deeply, right now, while we can.
Somebody asked me if i have ever loved anybody else like i love Highlander.
The truth is no. I have loved on many levels.. but this love...
it completes me
it moves me
it comforts me
and defines why i still think its all worth it. And maybe people are afraid of the truth, that true love is worth it, that its all its cracked up to be, but as exhilarating as it is it can carry the ultimate pain.
We have talked about what would happen if the other one of us died. My heart it would go on but my soul would be sold..
and him all he said is
his heart would stop beating without me.
I just pray for Deedy still, for comfort, for maybe a chance to love again, but i know why she doesn't,
I really do.
S.O.T.D.
"“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”" Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then am I strong.
II Corinthians 12:9-10)
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