William Wallace: Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live...at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade all of that from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance......... (Braveheart)
After a ridiculously long day of being an unpaid taxi cab driver i finally fell asleep. Only to be woken up by my husband grumbling because of his nose (he has a deviated septum he needs fixed) dogs wanting to go potty and a small child who was being the worst kind of bed hog, he wants ..me out, his dad to be right next to him and he wants to utilize only a fraction of bed space , its a tough call with our boo, he usually sleeps in his toddler bed for most of the night which is actually in our room, but he somehow always ends up in ours. I don't usually care , and because he is autistic and used to wake up in the middle of the night and "wander" i being the paranoid freak parent that i am couldn't sleep when he wasn't in our room. I would wake up countless times scared about where was he? I used to find him on my couch , on the floor, once i was almost ready to collapse with fear cause at midnight i woke went to check on him and he was no place to be found. Till my older kids heard me freaking out and said wait he is upstairs in bed with Season! So people suggested i put up a baby gate, yeah that only works on NON spartan children who cannot push it down in a single blow. He has incredible strength and TRULY is his fathers son when it comes to being just naturally strong. A blessing I'm sure when he is a grown man but a nightmare when he is 3 and can make grown adults break a sweat when he decides to put on one of his awesome displays of power. Needless to say he is in our room in his own little bed and it works for us for now......
Until nights like tonight , where i look over half dazed unable to sleep from all the afore mentioned things and i start eying that toddler bed :) and for a second i contemplate climbing in pulling up the Disney Cars comforter , let my feet stick out and start sawing logs. HEY i am short so its not too far fetched , i mean i MIGHT fit if i scrunched up really good :). But then i come too and decide to lay out on the couch, which you know initially works but then i hear people breathing, and the hamster going in his damn wheel to no where and the dryer turning and then my mind is up. Its dangerous business waking up my mind, cause it never EVER shuts up once switched to the on position. Its never fully off, it goes into pause mode like my coffee pot every night, waiting for someone to press play come the break o DAWN :).
So here i am wide awake at 1 am which would normally be 2 but since we fell back you know its a fake 1 am...drinking herbal orange tea and writing this ridiculous blog about random sleep shenanigans and hijacking toddler beds.
My life is not a joke, people seriously have NO clue what it entails and what it is i DO all day everyday. It never , ever , stops. My husband has expressed to me that he worries about me cause i never rest, and apparently i can add never sleep to that list as well :). He wants me to SIT DOWN. He claims i make him feel eternally guilty because i wont ever watch TV, i don't take naps and i cant just sit still. hmm what the heck is my problem anyways ?
I guess ill sleep when I'm dead , and we ARE a long time dead , so gotta make the most of NOW.
I just don't want to get to the end, whenever that may be , and feel like i wasted what days i had. I know all days are not perfect but every day is worth it. Because there is something good in every day, God wouldn't have it any other way.
I am an easily amused person. You have NO idea how true that statement is. Anything sparkly, checking the mail, scratch off lottery tickets (where for about 1 second i COULD BE an almost millionaire hehe), the mountains with the sun peeking out behind them, the way it feels that first seconds i roll down my window and the fresh air hits me, the small skip of a beat that happens every time my husband comes home and smiles at me, the feel of my dogs soft squishy ears as i pet him, the smile i get every time i walk into my chaotic bedroom and see a stack of no less than 7 books i am either reading all at once or aspire to read :)
Yes
Easily amused.
It has its advantages.
Someday when i am old and i do slow down , i will have hopefully lived such a full life , i will be able to sustain my mind with many amusing and lovely memories of a life well lived.
I have no more energy than the average insane military mom of 4 kids 2 dogs and 1 hamster. I am just better than most of slave driving and kicking my own butt!
I give all my praise to the Lord for he has bestowed upon me a will that i know in my heart makes me unique, a heart that can infinitely love because i am loved, and a mind that is STRAC and a promise that tells me its all for a reason.
None of this probably makes any sense and i will most likely look at it in the morning with a critical but AMUSED eye :)
Goodnight for the second time tonight.
Oh and the songbird song is one that always reminds me of Highlander.
S.O.T.D.
saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
