“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”
It has been a long day , Highlander is finally home, i am nervous because the small kids have been asleep since an hour that is ridiculous and i fully expect to be up at midnight watching some Thomas episode that will make me want to off myself....
Everyone has been sick and i feel not right either...we will only have a few days with Highlander home and then he will be off again this time for a whole month...the sad part is i noticed that anymore i hardly miss a beat when he leaves, i think there is just a permanent space i reserve in my heart for when he has to go. By keeping that place i think i don't feel the pain as much as i used to , its something that is just a part of me now , which is not to say i don't miss him when he goes, because its like losing my right arm, but its like being ambidextrous and just going on autopilot and becoming left handed. switch hitter ..that's me.
I just wanted to say that i wasn't going to write tonight ..i actually don't know why i am cause I'm tired.
But i do want to say this. I really consider myself very lucky for all the friends in my life who have gone the extra mile to stay in touch and not let go of me...there was a time in my life that was not so crazy and maybe i was better back then...must have been , to meet and keep such wonderful people throughout the years.
Because of my crazy life, i don't get to go out hang out or keep up as much as i wish i could...and that truly pains me more than i could probably write about without starting to get all emotional and then we got to break out the Kleenex and then you know tomorrow its visine and the list just goes on , so we will skip all that...
But wow , i am truly blessed to know that even with the little i am able to see or talk to these people , they are always so warm hearted and open, welcoming.
It drives right into my heart and makes me just so full...of gratitude. I hope i have treated people well with the time i was given with them. I keep having to move and say goodbye or they move or we move on. Take your pick. But i would not change any of it or trade it. Because weather or not these people know it, some of the best of who i am comes from the best things they ever showed me...and sometimes that's many things and sometimes it was only one thing. And you know what... whenever i pull out something i got from one of my friends , strength, ideas, courage,character traits, i feel always thankful to have had that moment in time with them, and happiness is to be able to recall it and cherish it and still use it to this day. To this day i cant look at a bingo card and not think of my friend Tammy, and smile. I haven't seen her in almost 10 years.
I just know and accept that some doors we go through once and we actually never go back through...but they are mile markers in the hallway of our life. And when i look down my very long hall some are open and some are closed , some are blue like the sky and some are black, but they are there, and nobody can take that from me. I feel alone sometimes and i have only to look down that hallway and know I'm just still traveling. I have many more doors to add and many more will open and close, all we can do is cherish the time we have with people and give our all. You know, don't wait till next week or next month, just every time you are with those you love and care about , give them the best part of who you are, and know that , that alone is enough. Its everything......
What i learned today
Where did crayola crayons come from anyways?
Crayola is a brand of artistry supplies manufactured by Crayola LLC—founded in 1885 as Binney & Smith—best known for its crayons. Originally an industrial pigment supply company, it soon shifted its focus to art products for home and school use, beginning with chalk then crayons, followed later by colored pencils, markers, paints, modeling clay and other related goods.In 1902, Binney & Smith developed and introduced the Staonal marking crayon. Then Edwin Binney, working with his wife, Alice Stead Binney, developed their own famous product line of wax crayons beginning on June 10, 1903,[7] which it sold under the brand name "Crayola." The Crayola name was coined by Alice Binney, wife of company founder Edwin and a former school teacher. It comes from "craie," the French word for "chalk," and "ola," for "oleaginous," or "oily."[6][8] Crayola introduced their crayons not with one box but with a full product line. By 1905, the line had expanded to offering 18 different sized crayon boxes[9] with 5 physically different sized crayons, only two sizes of which survive today - the "standard size" (Standard sized crayola crayon is 3 5/8" x 5/16") and the "large size" (Large sized crayola crayons are 4" x 7/16"). The product line offered crayon boxes contained containing 6,7,8,12,14,16,18,24,28 or 30 different color crayons. Some of these boxes were targeted for artists and contained crayons with no wrappers, while others had a color number printed on the crayon wrapper that tied to a corresponding number on a list of color names printed inside the box lid, but some boxes held crayons with their color names printed on their wrappers.
So now i know...:)
Goodnight
s.o.t.d.
Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you.
Hosea 10:12
oh and ps
HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!
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