Its Friday and i am seriously glad! Today was so busy with all the kids needing to wear their costumes to school, The Pillow needed a treat for the whole class, The Rock fought tooth and nail because well he hates costumes....but he did finally wear at least the costume part, he ditched the hat and the eye patch and its ok at least he actually wore it. He saw no point though. :)
Have another crazy weekend to do with Halloween and my love coming home a party to attend church and a slew of other things that just HAVE to get done! It never ends i tell ya!
I am so annoyed with the army right now because they have ROYALLY scewed up on something yet again and it is going to take Highlander getting all up into somebody's face to figure out how to fix it. I shudder where i sit for whoever THAT person is cause i am not amused and he is PISSED. The funny thing about him is that people are always scared of him but really he is a very nice man, he rarely ever raises his voice or gets mad at others unlike me (hehe) but its cause he is so quiet that he brings the fear...so when he does flip his scrip people pretty much almost pee themselves cause umm yeah when he does yell it blows right through your soul. Its crazy. Anyhow my totally digressed point at this point is that i was pretty upset and he wasted no time in TCB. He really would do anything for me in the name of love. I KNOW this cause this last deployment when we were both pushed to the brink i had to hard line some things to him , you know tough love and he could of responded 2 ways , one could of been nothing and the other was everything. you guessed it he gave it 1000 percent effort. It makes all the difference. The response. I am a pretty extreme personality...i know this so does he, and honestly i have no friggen clue how the man lives with me or my nutty ways lol. But what i think we have that is vital is we know what the other needs and we understand how to apply that in a paste :). But none of it works without true love. Cause when its half love its half effort. When its kinda love its kinda response.
Marriage is not easy. Truthfully i hate how much we are apart, i feel like i spend the majority of my life being away from him. But the time we are together is THAT good . Without it being 1000 % amazing while we are together it could not sustain me while he is gone.
Its been said to love while you can cause you never know how long you've got. In this way of life that saying holds so much truth it almost hurts. None of us knows where our lives lead, and none of us loves as much as we should.
I have been taking some serious time to pray about my shortcomings (of which i have many) and asking the Lord to strengthen me in those areas of my life, while i am at "rest" and not at "stress" i need to patch holes, build up strength, workout hard both mentally and physically, cause i know what hunts me. .....
Its a black hole of despair that can swallow you up if you let it, i was never sucked in all the way but man did i come close. And now as i mull it over in my mind that i am heading into what will become our third deployment sometime this summer i feel like George Foreman the boxer..who at the age of 45, he knocked out Michael Moorer, age 26, to reclaim the title he held 20 years earlier. I am getting old but i have to stay as fit as i can because make no mistake its a fight just to keep sane and calm about it all. My poor kid will have had her dad gone half her life by the time she turns 6. It really sucks.
I asked him if he could do it over would he...join the army and the whole nine yards....all he said is "well its what i do."
I said "you know your really good at what you do" and he said "so are you"
And so there it is in a nutshell. We are precisely where we are supposed to be. And sometimes that is together ...and sometimes its apart. But are not the all the days of our lives already written? So who am i to doubt..all i need to do is just know that like George nothing is impossible. Not even surviving another grueling round of guess what is waiting in sandbox number 3!
I will survive.
Thanks be to God who gives us our victory through our Lord Jesus Christ
s.o.t.d.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:16
No comments:
Post a Comment